Three Men on a Boat 
So yesterday we received a call from one of our Nigerian Lady-friends based in Abuja. She asked us to verify if it was indeed true that a man in Zimbabwe had grown boobs.
We of-cause had heard of the story of one Acry Chinhivi Shayamano a 40-year-old man from Nherera in Mhondoro who suddenly grew breasts after he allegedly stole and sold some cattle.
People in his village believe that Acry was being punished by the cattle owner and the miracle breasts were meant to shame him.
Acry denies any wrong doing as far as cattle is concerned he only admitted to pinching a DVD or two. In his defense he said:
I steal but not cattle. I stole some DVDs and I was arrested and ordered to pay a fine,” Acry also attributed the boobs to the ARV’s has been taking for the past three years.
While it was evident that the dude had grown boobs which our resident boob expert confidently described as “C- cups.” We were left wondering whether the boobs were due to juju or ARV’s.
The cause-effect relationship between cattle and boobs sounded a bit weird so being the critics that we are we set off to find out what the real explanation could be.
Our first stop…Gogo Wepa number six (why is that n’anga’s and urban medicine people are identified by their house number?)
When we got to her house it was her off day, so we didn’t have to go through the rigmarole of taking our shoes off, handclapping and calling her “Sekuru” We proceeded to ask her/him for a good explanation to the case of Acry’s boobs.
She confirmed that in her world people can force confessions and prevent from would-be thieves from stealing from them by protecting their property with such traditional security systems.
She also told us that trying to explain the details of how it’s actually done would mean we technically become her apprentices at which point we bade her farewell and left before things got complicated.
Still not convinced we then asked a lady-doctor friend of ours for a more scientific explanation.The long and short of what she said is that some medication, for instance, ARVs can cause a man to grow boobs.
The condition is called “Gynaecomastia” and it is caused by an increase in estrogen and a decrease in testosterone. Some medication can therefore cause hormonal imbalance which causes breast tissue to grow in men.
To be honest while the last explanation sounded plausible it is a cry far below the more superstitious explanation that Gogo wepa number six gave.
Do you think the boobs grew because of:
A: Juju
B: ARV’s
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