SEVEN reasons why your marriage could end in divorce

The crazy news came out that divorces went up by a whopping 60% last year in Bulawayo.

820 couples in 2018 filed for divorces as opposed to 517 the year before.

We decided to share some common reasons why marriages fail.

1. Finances: Zimbabwe’s economy stinks like a public toilet Fourth (Simon Vengesayi Muzenda) Street commuter omnibus rank. Add to that if the two people have financial incompatibility. One is a spender and the other is a saver. Much like Mthuli Ncube and the MPs at the moment.
2. Got married for the wrong reasons: You married for money when he was a baller. Now not so much. So next baller. Or maybe something like she got pregnant so you lost all objectivity and felt that marriage was the right thing to do, knowing full well you had never thought of a future with the person before. And even if you did it was an absolute NO.
3. Got lost in roles: Kids came in and you forgot you were a couple. So you stopped talking about anything except the work that needs to go into the relationship. And when the kids leave the house for boarding or because hey, they are grown and you have to start acting like you know each other again, boom.
4. Intimacy has disappeared: Sometimes things happen and there is a change in how one person communicates sexually. Suddenly, instead of working on it, conflict appears. And sometimes it is down to the fact that men generally want repetitive while women wants romantics. So if one starts getting less than what they used to, it’s a problem. And when there is no sex, you are essentially penpals who became house mates,
5. Lack of a support structure: Conflict resolution needs trusted third parties and in Zimbabwe that has been the extended family. Sometimes it is just for someone else to listen and not necessarily solve. When that doesn’t exist, the couple continues either to take things out on each (domestic violence even) or bottle things up.
6. Not having a shared vision: You often hear people say ‘oh no partner changed’ or ‘oh no my partner didnt change’. Often that is because this was not discussed from the onset. The expectations you and them differed. Noone changed. Maybe you just saw things differently from day one.
7. Too codependent: We often talk about this when it comes to people with obviously unhealthy habits like alcohol and substance abuse. But when the individuality disappears from any relationship, be worried. Sometimes you no longer are comfortable doing things without your partner. You don’t know what music, moves and so forth YOU like. Often you feel overwhelmed and just end up going along with the flow.

Most of this doesn’t mean you have to visit a lawyer now. Talk it out with your partner. See a counselor.

Otherwise, you are doomed.

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