FIVE tips to survive the heatwave

So Zimbabwe is having a bit of heatwave at the moment.

It is so insane that places like Kariba are having a midnight temperature of 27 degree Celsius at night. It obviously means no sex in that part of town except, well, people who for some reason are turned on by the heat and nymphomaniacs. Well you can’t help with those.

Anyway so it means that one has to survive this not so dandy weather and we have five tips for you

Drink loads of liquids – the most obvious of the lot drink water (maybe not the Harare water) but drink water even if you are not thirsty, because, you know, getting hydrated is good for you.
…but don’t drink alcohol – yeah alcohol doesn’t do well with the whole keeping hydrated thing. Main reason why you have a hangover.
Dress appropriately – Getting your bomber jacket because it goes with your shoes in the heatwave is just not good sense. Also avoid dark clothes. Wear lighter ones because they reflect the sun. Wouldn’t go as far as shiny catsuits or that bridesmaids clothes that were made for that one occasion or just in case you wanted to return to pre-school.
Avoid strenuous activity – so the aforementioned sex (unless you have to because she leaves on the plane in an hour and you won’t see for another year) and other activities are just to avoided.
Find somewhere cool to relax – OK when we say cool, we don’t mean cool, like you know, hip, awesome, swaggy and stuff. Well don’t mean somewhere not that. It just doesn’t have to be any of that. What are we saying again? Yeah. Find shade, air conditioned places with a quaint breeze. This is especially important for little people (age-wise) and old people).