This is how you know when it is time to end a friendship

It is a hard thing.

These may be people who you grew up with, who were there when you voice first broke and created moments that shaped you. Leaving them may feel like wrenching a part of you and throwing it into the wilderness.

So it can be tempting to remain in what you feel may be a relationship that is weighing you down.

So the critical question is:

How do you know when it is time to say goodbye?

Resentment is a start. And often it stems from lives being carved out differently. Say your friend has a job you like, is getting married and seems to be moving on. Your life feels like it is going nowhere and you are partying up a storm. Internally, you both want their life and they want yours. And so what happens is that things get tense and arguments over little things continue piling up.

Secondly, you need to ask yourself if this relationship needs to maintained. Maybe you need a sabbatical from each other. Maybe you need time away. Or could it be something that just can’t be fixed? A friendship is supposed to be fun and easy going. When you feel it is too much work, then it might be time to move on. Conversely, if you feel that you are the draining one, then it could be that this not the friend you should keep. It means that the person may be bringing out the worst in you. There is this powerful phrase you can use: I don’t like the person you are turning me into.

There is also a trust issue. When you feel that a person can’t keep your secrets or talks behind your back, it is problematic. And also it could be you who could be having issues keeping secrets. The relationship is incongruent.

Another issue is that, well, people change, at no fault of their own. Maybe they still like drinking at the local hole and watching sport there. You prefer doing it at home. And seeing each other is becoming too much of an effort. Neither of you have done anything wrong to each other. You just want other things in life.

Finally, it is the feeling. Your gut simply says it is not working. It is time to say goodbye.

Ideally you want to create closure by having the conversation. Sometimes as in the case of resentment it could be a massive argument and you just don’t talk to each other anymore. There is also the possibility that you just drift apart and you don’t include each other in plans.

Whatever happens, you need to work on what is best for you.