EIGHT issues men are facing today that are often ignored

19 November each year is International Men’s Day celebrating worldwide the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities.

Photo by **Justin Shaifer** from **Pexels**

The theme for 2019 is “Making a difference for men and boys.”

The day pushes positive role models and raises awareness about men’s well-being.

And so today we share some issues men face that are often ignored.

Stereotypes: Men are expected to fall within certain stereotypes as portrayed in media. Financially successful, in perfect shape, rich, handsome, brilliant, athletic, sex-obsessed. Or the brutish, slob, beer-guzzling sports-lover. There seems to be only two extremes men should fall into. Men are more complicated than that.
Talking about financial success: The idea that men should have figured it out by a certain age and just be ready to take on all sorts of responsibilities by a certain age is taxing. The pressures to be a financial success lead some men to abuse the system. And others to feel like a failure, for not being able to live up to society’s expectation of them. This is happening in an ever-changing world.
Raising boys in this world: So many men were brought up in a different world where fathers didn’t really communicate with their children and the idea of being a boy in a brave new world is complex. In the past, when one misbehaved it was said ‘boys will be boys’. And if one did not show hyper-masculinity they were made fun of and told to be a man because ‘boys don’t cry’. In this new world, a father has to teach children about consent, respect, right to victimhood in sexual attacks, gender spectrums they may be growing into and more. While there has never been a manual for raising children, raising boys and finding a way to teach all this while being a role model is a problem.
The dangers and their disposability: Men were always the ones conscripted for war by default. And every year thousands of men die in the coal mines, railroads, sewers, satellite towers and other dangerous workplaces that are too often taken for granted. While there have been women who also work around these dangers, in many parts of the world, they are still seen as jobs men should do and if one dies today, they will be replaced by tomorrow with the enterprise to carry on. Think, for example of the recent mine disasters in Zimbabwe. That is how disposable men and boys are, really.
The black man complex: Black men’s issues are seen mostly through race rather than gender. In effect, the idea of black men being a gender with unique wants, needs, and exposures has rarely been discussed at all. When men’s issues are raised, they are bundled up with that of the angry white men who rule the world and make it bad for everyone. So the idea of where the black man, which in itself has sub-sections fits in the global context is hard to see.
Forced absent-fatherhood: Be it long working hours or living in another town to provide for the family. A study in the US said 8-10 million dads rarely see their children. Or maybe dealing with a partner who does not want you to see your child because the relationship ended badly. Add to that the mother telling the child all sorts of unsavoury things about the biological father. We are not talking about the deadbeat dads or wilfully abscond from the relationship. We are talking about the ones who want to be there. The effect going forward on men and their place in the world becomes challenged and makes for toxic relationships going forward.
Dealing with feelings: Society has taught men to hide their feelings and not confront them. This translates to men being more prone to suicide engaging violence as a way to confront frustration and sometimes an inability to express empathy effectively.
Finding identity: Be it gender spectrums, relationships with parents, friends, children, women et al, men are having to find a new space for their identity. From a binary world which had a definite man-box, the idea of how to be a man is brand new. It is all sorts of things and nothing. While there seemed to be a instruction book of sorts as pushed by education at home, church or school, now noone really has any idea what men are supposed to be. Not least, the men themselves.

Note that this list is not exhaustive and some issues are not exclusive to men today. These are some of the things men are facing.

Hug a man today.