An Ode To Big Brother From A Former Contestant

This ode was written by former Big Brother Africa contestant Vimbai Mutinhiri. She appeared in Amplified.

Dear Biggie,

This time last year, I was engrossed in more emotions than on the eve that I entered the Big Brother Amplified house the previous season. By this time, I knew that Roki would be representing Zimbabwe in Star Game, and had wished him my best. So why was I so anxious and insecure? I had a knot of emotion in my gut, my heart raced mercilessly and my sweaty palms unapologetically gave away the internal tribulation in my soul. My era was over. My moment of fame had come and gone.

As I heard that electronic voice sing “no place to hide, Big Brother”, I literally had a flashback of every night I was nominated whilst in the house and waited for Africa’s vote to determine my fate. At this moment there were no cameras, there was no audience. It was me, my tv and my thoughts. And my soul longed for approval or affirmation from the world at this moment more than ever.

I have to be honest, I secretly wished whoever represented my country would not get as far in the show as I did, just so I could cling to my crown of relevance for a little while longer. I have now grown enough to admit the feelings I had at the time. I contacted my other ex housemates, seeking consolation in numbers. And thank God, my relief came when I realized each person I spoke to was feeling the exact same way.

Did I make an impact? Will I be remembered? Will I still be relevant?

I don’t know how many people can relate to watching someone new fill a position that used to be yours. It’s bittersweet. In all honesty, I couldn’t even watch the opening show. I intentionally made plans, and acted like I was so disappointed to miss it. I kept a close eye on twitter and checked in with friends to hear their opinions of the new housemates until I crawled out of my cowardice. The 1st week was not easy. I won’t lie, I was the most envious hater out there. But within a week, I began to fall in love with this young, fresh and fun group of people!

How did I get over my fears and insecurities? I accepted that everything has its season, and that my season happened exactly when it was supposed to happen for my life’s purpose. My season had positioned me for greater things, although at that stage I had no idea what those things would be. And my stubborn spirit almost would not allow me to see beyond my situation at the time. I wish the world could understand for one day how difficult it is to transition from “being famous for being famous”, to actually being respected in a chosen craft. The most important lesson in my journey was learning that being famous is not the same as being successful.

And now, here I am. 2 years later. Picking a dress for the opening of Big Brother Africa season 8, with genuine joy and excitement in my heart. Hoping that these housemates get as much out of 3 months as I was fortunate to get. I hope they make lasting friendships, learn priceless lessons and make an impact on the continent. I’m taking Weza Solange as my date, and we have had our fair share of giggles about how we’re finally liberated from our own shadows.

My ode to Big Brother Africa, the greatest show on earth!

________

Vimbai Mutiniri now hosts MNet’s StarGist